Kimochi Warui

"Kimochi warui" is a Japanese phrase. The literal translation is "bad feeling". Kimochi means feeling, sensation or mood. Warui means bad or inferior. It is much more than that, though. It includes "creepy feeling", "feeling oogy inside", etc.

Kind of like Morgan Freeman dating his granddaughter.

Or the movie "Spanking the Monkey".

You know, anything that makes you say "eeewwwww".

But like a bad car accident, sometimes you just have to take a second look to make sure what you are seeing is really as bad as you think it is. And usually, it is.

After many years of lamenting cracked, dry heels no matter how much I pumiced and slathered on heel cream I discovered this nifty little gadget. In less than 15 minutes I had smooth, excellent heels. I have been enjoying them and the increased lifespan of pantyhose for the last few months.

For some reason I opened up the little gadget (you would have to eventually I suppose) and the heel shavings inside looked just like grated parmesan cheese. It was oddly fascinating in a way that made me want to vomit.

Rick opined that it looked like sauerkraut but the bits weren't long and stringy.

So I cleaned it all out and put it in the long plastic bag the newspaper came in and stuck it in the bathroom trash can.

Later I had to take another look. It looked like a little bird's nest made out of coconut. For just a moment I wanted to take it out and save it and make something with it. The possibilities were endless. I could add toenail clippings, hair from the shower...

But wait. No. That would put me in the company of people I would rather not be associated with.

You get the idea.

Take the garbage out!

So I did.

Try As I Might...

There are just some shoes I can't pull off.  I would love them and order them from my favorite shoe emporium that offers free shipping and free returns as well as great prices.  But alas, either my "objets du desir" were too "runway model" for me to wear with my short and chunky legs or they were uncomfortable or... see for yourself.

I lusted mightily over these.  But I have nothing to wear them with.

These are by the same maker and gorgeous.  Unfortunately, they looked better sitting on the mantlepiece than on my feet.

I loved these passionately.  But the heels were too tall, even for me.

My date thought these looked like biker boots despite the fine quality leather and original selling price of $1,500.  I  guess it's like when he points out a new car model he lusts after and I say, "Oh, that reminds me of a (Camaro, Pinto, PT Cruiser) and he is crushed and says, "But noooo, it is a (Fill in the blank) and it costs (Fill in the hundreds of thousands of dollars)".

But here are some I did give in to because they are comfortable.  Although I am still a fan of "prosti-pumps"  I have enjoyed getting some really high end shoes that I was able to find for Payless Shoe store prices.

Like these.

Now if I could only get my hands on a pair of these...

PS:

Don't these remind you of a yak?  I do not lust after these.  I am not completely insane.

A Very Bad Thing

It is January and cold at home but I am in Arizona for a boards review course.

It is nice and warm and sunny here.

I went for a walk and feeling fit and slim I stopped into a TJ Maxx to see what kind of bargains I could uncover.

They had bathing suits out on display.

The colors were so pretty. I picked a few to try on.

OMG.

WTF.

When did I get so flabby and saggy?

I tried on some "tankinis". The only accurate part I saw in the mirror was "tank".

My self esteem was in the toilet.

I wonder if this is what I have to look forward to.

I consoled myself by remembering it is impossible to get skin cancer while wearing a burqa at the pool or the beach this summer.

Halleluah!

There was an article today in the Yahoo news that having a fat butt may be a good thing.

Here is a quote from the article:

"Having junk in your trunk is healthier than a spare tire around the gut, new research suggests.  The extra padding on the backside and thighs could even help to protect against disease."

This is good news to me.

Many people find the callipygian look alluring.

Being the owner of a "caboose of size" I like those people.  I think they are pretty smart. 

So I will put in my eating tooth

Slip into my elastic waist pants

And let the healthfest begin.

Bring on the spareribs!

Exercise

As I struggle with the staggering amount of weight I seem to have effortlessly accumulated over the years I often wonder what it would take to get back into some of my old clothes that I really like but can't bear to cut up and make into a quilt just yet.

At first blush it seems simple.

Eat less.

Exercise more.

For me, making the time to exercise is very difficult. 

 

I can find plenty of time to lie on the couch, though.  

Here are some of the exercises I have been contemplating taking up in my quest for a smaller container:

Sumo.  I already have the physique for it.

Cycling but the weather is a bit nippy right now.

But truthfully I don't even like it with someone else.

Skiing might be fun.   Not.

Maybe archery.

Swimming, if you avoid the floating protein deposits.

Naked weight lifting?

Too bad this doesn't work.

I think I just might put it off for a while.