Try As I Might...

There are just some shoes I can't pull off.  I would love them and order them from my favorite shoe emporium that offers free shipping and free returns as well as great prices.  But alas, either my "objets du desir" were too "runway model" for me to wear with my short and chunky legs or they were uncomfortable or... see for yourself.

I lusted mightily over these.  But I have nothing to wear them with.

These are by the same maker and gorgeous.  Unfortunately, they looked better sitting on the mantlepiece than on my feet.

I loved these passionately.  But the heels were too tall, even for me.

My date thought these looked like biker boots despite the fine quality leather and original selling price of $1,500.  I  guess it's like when he points out a new car model he lusts after and I say, "Oh, that reminds me of a (Camaro, Pinto, PT Cruiser) and he is crushed and says, "But noooo, it is a (Fill in the blank) and it costs (Fill in the hundreds of thousands of dollars)".

But here are some I did give in to because they are comfortable.  Although I am still a fan of "prosti-pumps"  I have enjoyed getting some really high end shoes that I was able to find for Payless Shoe store prices.

Like these.

Now if I could only get my hands on a pair of these...

PS:

Don't these remind you of a yak?  I do not lust after these.  I am not completely insane.

A Very Bad Thing

It is January and cold at home but I am in Arizona for a boards review course.

It is nice and warm and sunny here.

I went for a walk and feeling fit and slim I stopped into a TJ Maxx to see what kind of bargains I could uncover.

They had bathing suits out on display.

The colors were so pretty. I picked a few to try on.

OMG.

WTF.

When did I get so flabby and saggy?

I tried on some "tankinis". The only accurate part I saw in the mirror was "tank".

My self esteem was in the toilet.

I wonder if this is what I have to look forward to.

I consoled myself by remembering it is impossible to get skin cancer while wearing a burqa at the pool or the beach this summer.

No More Bargains in Chinatown?

This may be a thing of the past before too long.

All those great knock off watches, $8 each.

The crackdown on counterfeit goods has taken a serious turn.

It won't be as much fun to go to Chinatown any more.

No more Fendi bags for $25.

No more fake Cartier watches to fool my wealthy friends.

No elegant ersatz Movado to go with my "little" black dress.

No more Breitlings to give to the guys on their birthdays.

No more cheap Rolexes to leave in the surgeon's lounge to see how long it takes for them to disappear.

But saddest of all, no chance now for me to have the fake Birkin bag that I covet.

Dim sum instead, anyone?

Shoes, Part II

I love shoes.

One of my employees gave me a scotch tape dispenser shaped like a shoe.  It really pleased me more than she will ever know.  

These are a pair of really nice boots that I could not pass up.

They would look nice with the fur toad bag I wish I could afford.

In keeping with the shoes that will go with a specific outfit, I just bought a pair of these.

They will dress up a casual outfit, like this one I am going to wear to the hootenanny.

Bob Dole has tickets to the hootenanny. 

And he has needs.

But some shoes are too weird, even for me.

These would require bound feet.

But by the time your foot was shaped just right, the shoes would probably be out of style.

I guess not all fashion is worth the price.

Still my idol.

Shoes

I've been buying a lot of shoes lately. (On sale, of course.)

As I arranged them in my closet this morning (after they had spent most of the last few weeks in various locations around the house, much to the dismay of my date) I realized something.

Something a little scary but also funny.

Many of the shoes I have are styles a drag queen or a transvestite would wear.

I am not sure why I have an affinity for these dramatic, over-the-top shoes.

Could it be that I am secretly stifled by my job, where I have to be the mild mannered Clark Kent?

So I have two basic types of shoes in my closet. One is a group of stylish and comfortable shoes with relatively low heels (under 3 inches) which I often wear to work. I stand a lot during the day so these make sense.

The other type are the aforementioned drag queen shoes. I love these. I try to wear a pair of them to work (those that can be made to look reasonably appropriate anyway) at least once a week.

Perhaps this started when my little sister visited me in October and we went to Gabriel Brothers. I bought a pair of shoes with 4 1/2 inch heels and a greyish silver snake skin print on the (man made) leather uppers. They really look like shoes a hooker would wear.

However, I wore them with a very plain dress on Halloween and the compliments poured in. Straight men found them wildly sexy. Gay men found them "to die for". Women loved them but wondered aloud how I walked in them. (Not much, they were also too big). But they only cost six dollars. I could not pass them up.

I like these because they go with my orange dress.

It is a nice silk dupioni dress, in a light burnt orange color.

Here is my latest outfit in honor of all the deer in the yard.

Grey sweater dress

Deer pin

Earrings made out of silver charms

Shoes

There you have it.