The Things We Do For Love...

Orville and Wilbur were not destined to be bachelors for the rest of their lives. They kept asking (through mouthfuls of mealworms) when they could have a "companion". Of the female variety, of course.

It is unusual to come across flying squirrels in the wild, much less for sale so I could only make them empty promises. But I love them so I did not give up.

Back to Craigslist. I had not sworn that off. (My deal for my patient was not to say the "F" word any more if her cancer was not invasive. I am now substituting "FLYING SQUIRREL" for the "F" word.) Lo and behold, there was a female flying squirrel for sale and the listing had not been flagged. Quickly I downloaded the pictures and fired off an e-mail to the seller, imploring her to sell me the squirrel. I gave her my phone number and my e-mail address.

I could not believe it when my phone rang later that morning and she said lots of people wanted the squirrel but no one wanted to drive out to pick her up. I asked her where she was and she named a place that is far, far away in the boondocks.

"No problem!" I said, without considering how I would get the cage in my car. "I'll be there after work!" I then asked my office manager for $50 for squirrel money and my nurse, angel that she is, said, "Road trip! I have the van!". So spouses were called and arrangements were made and in celebration the office had delicious Mexican food for lunch.

After our last patient left we took off on our journey. It was a beautiful sunny day. Everything was green and leafy, butterflies were out and once we got past the traffic area it was an idyllic country drive. That went on, and on and on. The signs did not match Mapquest so finally in defeat we called the squirrel seller. We were re-routed and after making a U-turn in the two lane highway we found the "house".

The owner came out to greet us. She was toothless, barefoot, had long thin toes with long dirty toenails and her hair was long and scraggly. The smell of cigarette smoke hit us before we even entered the hovel. A Playboy ashtray sat on the coffee table next to three packs of cigarettes, two remote controls and several lighters. A huge plasma screen TV dominated the room. The only other light was from the computer on the desk. The owner said we could see the squirrel's face but we could not. I counted out the money and handed it to her. She flashed her gums at me and tucked the money into her tank top. I wondered briefly how it would stay in there as I had not seen evidence of any supportive undergarment. But I digress.

The owner's husband emerged from behind a curtain made out of a blanket. He briefly displayed a gap toothed grin and then picked up the cage and carried it out to the van. He put it in and we drove away.

About fifteen minutes later my nurse turned to me and said, "Did you see the squirrel?". I said that I had not, but that it did smell like a flying squirrel. She dissolved into gales of laughter and said, "Do you think we just bought an empty cage?". This caused me to laugh as well. As soon as we drove off the toothless couple probably high fived each other and then ran over to the computer to put the listing back up on Craigslist.

"Got us another one, Daddy. Let's go buy us some cigarettes."

The things we do for love, indeed.

Welcome, Amelia.

Meet Amelia

Full story of Amelia's humble beginnings to follow soon.

Orville and Wilbur

About two weeks ago we got a pair of flying squirrels. The first week was a bit hectic for all of us. The new cage had not yet arrived so we put them into a bathroom in a dog kennel for their first night in their new home. I saw a spot in the cage bars big enough for them to squeeze through so I stuffed some oh-so-secure paper towels in the spot. Naturally, this was not sufficient to withstand a curious squirrel. The next morning I went in to feed them and to my dismay there were no squirrels in the kennel. I looked into the Kleenex box on the back of the toilet and one little face looked back at me. I scooped the box up and deposited him back into the kennel. The other one was nowhere to be found.

With a sinking heart I wondered if the towel I had stuffed under the door crack had deterred the missing squirrel just a little before he snuck out to meet his maker(s), the cats. I was wracked with guilt. I felt like the lady who forgot her baby for 8 hours in the car on a hot summer day.

I put the lonely squirrel into a large screen cage we used to keep a chameleon in. He scampered around a bit and then disappeared into his nest box. The cats kept vigil at the door.

These squirrels are nocturnal and I remember them being very active around 11:00 or so. I spent the next three nights sitting on the couch, listening for scampering in other areas of the house. I watched the cats to see if there was any new interest in a particular closet or under some furniture. There was not, although I heard plenty of scampering from behind the bathroom door.

One morning when I went in to feed the lonely guy and I noticed evidence of food bits outside the cage. I was perplexed how the squirrel could have gotten out of the cage so I looked inside. There he was, minding his own business.

So once again I launced a search. And there was the runaway, hiding in the Kleenex box. Thinking I could just scoop the box up and deposit him in the cage, I did so. And like lightning he jumped up onto the pictures and began to hop and glide around the bathroom.

I watched him then disappear into the only place I could not get my arm into - the porcelain sink pedestal.

I got a cat toy with a tickly end and flushed him out but could not catch him.

After 15 minutes of squirrel rodeo, I finally shooed him into the cage. He quickly went into the nest box and I heard some reunion chirps.

Just to be sure (the enemy of good is better) I opened the cage to see both of them together. Quick as a wink he escaped and we repeated the rodeo. Finally I got him back into the cage.

The cage then arrived and was put together into a fabulous squirrel dwelling, complete with cedar nesting boxes, climbing limbs and multi-level food cups. All the doors have small snap locks or cable ties on them. To date the cage has been squirrel proof.

They seem to like it a lot. They come out at around 9:30 or 10:00 PM and put on a show.

They eat heartily, seeming to prefer blueberries, hickory nuts, walnuts and strawberry yogurt over sunflower seeds, apples and pear yogurt.

Please note: These are not pictures of our actual flying squirrels. We will have these soon but in the meantime, they all look the same so you can't really tell them apart. Now that our guys are getting more used to us we will be able to get pictures of them in their newest dwelling, the "BJ Frog" but that is another story for another day.

Orville and Wilbur

Too Good To Be True

I like to browse postings on Craigslist. There are some really funny things like Rants and Raves, Missed Connections and the dating section.

You have to be careful about the dating section, of course.

There is also a lost and found section that I like to check to see if there have been any happy reunions of lost pets with their owners.

And then there is my favorite section, "Pets". We have two extra cats courtesy of this section. They were meant for other people but ended up being ours. (My date does not believe me but this is really true.)

I have also gotten reptile cages and frogs from this section.

Recently there was a listing for two flying squirrels. Almost immediately there was a post saying it is illegal to have flying squirrels without a permit, which is true.

Since I love flying squirrels and have had several as pets I e-mailed the person right away. Good thing, too since the post was deleted quickly.

Long story short, I was told these were a male and female pair of hand raised flying squirrels found when a tree was cut down and the mother was nowhere to be found. Of course they were tame. The people just didn't have time for them any more since they have six dogs and want to go camping more often.

So I made arrangements and met the lady in the parking lot of a bowling alley and got my new babies.

Naturally, they were not tame.

Nor were they male and female. They are male and male.

But we love them anyway. (We better, a $200 huge bird cage is on order for them.)

Just to be safe, I have now deleted Craigslist from my browsing favorites.

Stay tuned for more to come.