Words of Support for a Fellow Business Owner - You Know Who You Are

Being the boss is a thankless job. You can try your best to do all you can possibly do for your employees but there will always be some rotten apples that spoil it all.

If you are lucky, you can launch them. If they are key players that are hard to replace quickly, it's even worse.

No one has any idea how hard you work or how much you sacrifice to try to make your endeavor work.

No one, except you and your (long suffering) spouse.

Your employees think you are rolling around in mountains of cash

and living a lavish lifestyle

while they toil away endlessly at the salt mines.

They think they deserve more money even though they don't do any more work or are too lazy to put together some kind of presentation to show you what they have done to make things more efficient or to save money or even make more money.

But NOOOOOOOOOOOO.

YOU are supposed to cater to them.

THEY have it so bad.

Perhaps they have forgotten that the economy is bad right now and having a job is a REALLY GOOD THING, especially if it comes with health insurance.

Whiners.

Babies.

C-I-L-L them all.

But hang in there.

I feel your pain.

You're gonna go out there and grab the world by the tail and wrap it around and pull it down and put it in your pocket.

Word.

The Results Are In

I have been granted a

from having to wear the dunce cap.

I passed the second part of the American Board of Urology Certifying Exam

This is what I tell myself now.

What a relief!

Anticipation

I just finished taking my oral boards for the final step in becoming Board Certified in Urology.

Some people are wise owls and know everything. Those people do not include me.

I hope I did not fail them and have to take them again next year. I won't know for another four weeks or so.

Not in this case.

I Guess I Could Fire Myself...

Part of my job involves asking people about their current health problems as part of their medical history. Usually they have filled out a form before their appointment listing their problems.

When I see ADD or ADHD listed I get a feeling of dread.

I also have to ask them what medicines they take. Sometimes they have a list like this.

Or like this.

Or they don't have one at all but know they take "a white pill every day for my blood".

But when I see this listed I know the visit will likely take a very predictable course.

This one is the most common one I see these days. It must be a Tier I drug on the insurance companies' formularies.

Because I know the entire time will go like this. These patients do not stop talking. Ever.

And sadly, they do not listen either.

Or remember what they just said.... or what I told them to do.

It can be very frustrating to try to get enough pertinent information from them.

There is no good solution that I have found yet.

Wishful thinking.

Unfortunately these are not yet commercially available. I would stock them immediately.

My solution is to wear shoes like this to work.

And these. The tops do not show under my slacks. It's my little secret way of feeling more powerful.

But really, I can't fool myself.

I am really just an overeducated servant to them.

Those patients make me wish I had chosen a different career path.

I'm not sure my date would support another career change, though.

Well, what did you expect?

As my date is fond of saying, "When you go to a barber you get a haircut." In my line of work, if you are a man there is a better than average chance you will get a prostate exam. I have nice small fingers, use lots of lube and give my patients a choice of me putting on either pink or blue gloves for the exam.

My fingernails are short for your comfort.

Still, I have heard a lot of creative excuses why a patient does not want to have an exam. Maybe they think they about to get into some kind of unpleasant adventure.

FOR EXAMPLE:

"My other doctor just checked it"

My reply: Did he use my finger?

"Do I have to take off my pants?"

My reply: Well, it will be a very limited exam if you don't.

(What part of this request is not clear?)

"Do we really have to do this? I feel like I am with my mother"

My reply: I hope you do not routinely take off your pants with your mother.

"Sorry, it's not as big as it usually is"

My reply: Don't worry, this is not a date.

"Is my penis normal size?"

My reply: Yes.

My thoughts: For a mouse it is.

"Why do I have to turn my head to cough?"

My reply: So you do not blow green loogies into my hair.

" I have to warn you that I shave down there"

My reply: It is generally not necessary unless you look like Sasquatch, but it is a common trend in younger men.

I have gotten pretty tired of having to cajole grown men into letting me examine them. After all, they are in my office because THEY called and made an appointment. I did not stand out beside the exit ramp of a highway with a cardboard sign.

So I bought a pair of shoes for work that give me an authoritative look that says,

“Bend over bitch, your ass is mine”

I think these would make you obey the Mistress immediately.