Easter Improved

I did not have to go to church. My date flew solo to a local church to "fellowship" while I stayed in bed to do the crossword puzzle.

After that we drove to his sister's house for the brunch. The Easter rabbit that eats children was not in attendance, sadly. There were many small children there and way too much high pitched shrieking for my ears.

On the bright side, there was no geriatric basket hunting and the hash brown casserole was devoured. One brother in law declared it "excellent" and had thirds.

Next we drove to the nursing home. We said, "Merry Christmas!" and "Happy New Year!" as we handed out candy to anyone who wandered near us.

Then we went to the hospital to visit my date's dad. That was fun and uplifting.

It is now 4 PM, time for a nap followed by some Chinese food for dinner. Then it's back on the hamster wheel all over again in the morning.

Easter

I like Easter. It's spring, things are starting to bud and bloom and it involves candy. What's not to like?

Well, for one, church. My date is "Catholic light" which means he goes to Mass on Easter and Christmas. Being a good spouse I *usually* go with him.

There is a part of Catholic mass where the congregation extends a "sign of peace". (It comes after the collection, of course.) This means you have to smile and shake hands or hug people in your immediate vicinity. I completely hate this. Some people really make a production of it and stretch over two pews to reach you.

When was that hand last washed? Are viral particles stuck on it? Was it recently in the restroom and not washed afterwards? (No question it had just touched money for the shake down part of the mass.) My face frozen in rictus, I hold my elbows close to my body to avoid extending my handshaking arm too far. I can't wait to pull out my little bottle of hand sanitizer.

And Easter brunch is always filled with nasty foods. This year I have been charged with bringing the hash brown casserole. This is a vile concoction of frozen hash browns, cream of chicken soup, onions, sour cream and cheddar cheese. I am going to use fresh grated potatoes but as they say, you can't polish a turd.

On the other hand, there is candy.

I have to admit I am kind of fond of non-traditional chocolate animals for Easter, too. Like this small mouthed frog.

These are 9 on a scale of 1 to 10 for me.

But this is my crack cocaine of Easter candy. Malted milk eggs. My date genuinely does not understand how you can eat an entire bag of candy. He is just that kind of annoying thin person. Many of my close friends understand, though.

I think maybe even Jesus does too because in this picture he is showing his doctor where it hurt after he ate the whole bag of candy.

Happy Easter to you and yours!