As my date is fond of saying, "When you go to a barber you get a haircut." In my line of work, if you are a man there is a better than average chance you will get a prostate exam. I have nice small fingers, use lots of lube and give my patients a choice of me putting on either pink or blue gloves for the exam.
My fingernails are short for your comfort.
Still, I have heard a lot of creative excuses why a patient does not want to have an exam. Maybe they think they about to get into some kind of unpleasant adventure.
FOR EXAMPLE:
"My other doctor just checked it"
"Do I have to take off my pants?"
My reply: Well, it will be a very limited exam if you don't.
"Do we really have to do this? I feel like I am with my mother"
My reply: I hope you do not routinely take off your pants with your mother.
"Sorry, it's not as big as it usually is"
"Is my penis normal size?"
My reply: Yes.
My thoughts: For a mouse it is.
"Why do I have to turn my head to cough?"
My reply: So you do not blow green loogies into my hair.
" I have to warn you that I shave down there"
My reply: It is generally not necessary unless you look like Sasquatch, but it is a common trend in younger men.
I have gotten pretty tired of having to cajole grown men into letting me examine them. After all, they are in my office because THEY called and made an appointment. I did not stand out beside the exit ramp of a highway with a cardboard sign.
So I bought a pair of shoes for work that give me an authoritative look that says,
“Bend over bitch, your ass is mine”
I think these would make you obey the Mistress immediately.
